it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
