She said her name was "party"
I understand Curling. That high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
