I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
