If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
