that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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