So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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