he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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