The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
