..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
