Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
