Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
