i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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