I want to stick my p in your. b.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
