just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
