SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
