Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
