I think i peed on brittanys purse
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
