I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Everyone says I win the strip club
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
