oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
