i was born a porn star she said
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
