i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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