does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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