I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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