In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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