You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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