I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
