No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
