Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dignity is for republicans.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
