So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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