he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize