Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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