I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
