Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
