Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
