dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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