my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
