are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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