He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
