Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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