who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
