I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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