it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
