she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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