put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
