The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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