This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
