go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
