I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
