All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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