I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i permit you to call me
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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